Voyeurism.

Although the term “voyeurism” is usually related directly to sexual interest, these days we use this particular term to define other behaviors as well. Here is the definition of Voyeurism according to Wikipedia,

In clinical psychology, voyeurism is the sexual interest in or practice of spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing, sexual activity, or other activity usually considered to be of a private nature. In popular imagination the term is used in a more general sense to refer to someone who habitually observes others without their knowledge, and there is no necessary implication of any sexual interest.

So all of you getting all excited and defensive cause of the word “voyeurism” can relax.

The ever growing social networking platforms have given us an opportunity to connect with friends and families. However, many of us use it not just for that purpose but to keep tab on people just to see what they are upto. For example, Bill Gates ended up joining Twitter today and within hours he has well over 100,000 followers. Of course, he is Bill Gates but thousands are following him for one reason and one reason only, to see what he is going to tweet next, to know what’s going to come out on his stream next. You bet, it’s an act of voyeurism.

Another example is that of Ashton Kutcher showing his wife Demi Moore in her underware. Ohh yeah, thousands of you clicked it and so did I. Now tell me that’s not an act of voyeurism. You bet your ass it is.

I wanted to point this mostly untouched aspect of social networking because social networking activities has now surpassed the porn activity on the web. Yup, it’s true. People watch porn to satisfy their sexual desires. Some want full blown action and some want to tickle their fantasy with bits and pieces. Social Networking gives you way more than porn if you fall under the “tickle my fantasy bit by bit” category. Whether through profile images, their updates and tweets, we are constantly engaging in an act of voyeurism and often we don’t realize that. That’s one of the reason why porn is being pushed down by social networking cause it fulfills people’s fantasy in just many ways rather than simply through sensual images and videos. Words and not knowing what might come next can have quite an impact on someone’s fantasy and social networking has all the element for that.

We as humans have a common tendency of peeking into other people’s lives. Whether it’s peeking into someone’s window who forgot to close their curtain or following someone on Facebook or Twitter. It fulfills our desire and curiosity. And often we find one of those things that just makes our world go merry round, whether it’s in the form of tweets, Facebook updates, twitpic uploads or whatever it is.

Yes, the reason we are on board the social bandwagon is to connect but don’t tell me you connect with every single one of them on these platforms. There are quite a few we have chosen to connect just so we can keep tab on them. Are you one of those tech guys? I am sure you are following every move Robert Scoble makes. Are you a someone who wants to know what the social media rockstar is upto next? I am sure you are keeping tab on Chris Brogan. See what I mean?

It’s simple. Of course, you knew what you were doing but if you ever wondered how social networking can drag porn activity down, remember it’s because we are all voyeurs.

Share your thoughts. Feel like throwing rocks if you don’t agree? Grab some and throw it at your screen, I am sure it will hurt me.

image credit : Cult Gigolo

Hold on a minute, let me quick crack my knuckles before I get ready to write.

I am ready, are you? Cool.

One thing that has become quite a phenomenon on the web is the desire to be known. This phenomenon has swept almost all social media platforms from Digg to Twitter to Facebook, you name it and there is a race to reach the top. I have myself been a slave to the number game and have surrendered myself to the numbers. However, after I changed my game and I find myself climbing the ladder faster than I thought I would. So how is it possible to hide and still be able to get your name out and make enough to make a living? I will share a few of my secrets, well they are not really a secret but you might want to try them out if you haven’t already.

Moderation Fellas, Moderation

Everything is good in moderation – this saying is as true as it can get. Whether you use Twitter, Facebook, Digg, Reddit, whatever platform that you utilize, use it in moderation. I am an active twitter user but I don’t go out of my way to tweet. If I am working on the computer, I just have tweetdeck open and reply or catch a glimpse on anything that interests me. If I feel like taking a quick 5 minute interval during work, I might as well update my Facebook and quick digg a few links I find interesting. Besides that I have no desire to really be on top (don’t be a perv, you know what I meant).

So why even bother updating if being on top doesn’t really matter? Cause you need to be seen, but you don’t need to be seen as someone who is obsessively using a platform clearly giving an impression of what it is that you are trying to achieve. Make sure any platform that you use, you are active, but being active doesn’t mean you have to set 5 hours a day to get your name out. Do it in moderation and keep your name floating on different social sites so people get a glimpse of who you are, what you do and such. Remember moderation is the golden key to success. Work smart, not hard.

Filter Your Online Contacts

If you want to succeed online, your contacts are your golden gate to opportunity. Seriously, don’t ignore them and stay in touch. But there is a catch. I follow quite a few people on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc. but are they all meaningful contacts? Not really. Some might even be bots, who the heck knows. So why do I follow them if they are not meaningful? Well, I don’t care about the numbers, but I do care about my smiling face being seen on as many people’s list as possible? Why? Well, it helps me get my name out to potential clients, it’s one of those sneaky ways that most people don’t think of. I am not shooting for the number game or the fame game, I am shooting for exposure by just being there without really having to put extra effort into communicating with everyone. Seriously, you think I could manage replying and talking to every contact that I have on different platforms? I have a life too you know.

Anyways, the key is to filter your contacts. If you know someone who can be helpful down the road, stay in touch. Please do not run out asking for help. Build a relationship as a friend and not as a beggar. Don’t go begging. Now give it a few months for this relationship to mature and bloom to spread it’s wealth your way. That’s what I have done over the years and the last time I went looking for a client was in December of 2007. Since then, every client, yes every client I have had have been referred to me. And whether or not you like it, nepotism exists on the internet just as it does in the real world. Filter your contacts. Figure out where you just want to exist and where you want to put the effort and then build your online contacts so you get to reap the benefits.

Your Shit Stinks Just Like Mine

The internet has made many grown up adults act like 14 year old boys. The web has turned men into boys and it is really sad (that goes for you too, you over bragging woman, I feel bad for your hubby). You know what people hate the most – people who can’t stop bragging about themselves. Many people, especially on the web seem to have forgotten the meaning of confidence. If you take a shit and say “My shit don’t stink cause it’s mine,” guess what? You might piss someone enough to throw your shit back at you. Be careful not to brag yourself. I am a power user on digg, active twitter user who gets mentioned quite a few times on many lists and what not but you know what? It doesn’t matter. All they do is fill up the ego gap, that’s it. And I am sure you know that filling ego gap doesn’t fill your pockets. So stop tooting your own horn. If someone is tweeting how awesome you are, have some freaking decency and say thank you to them rather than retweeting it. It just makes it worse.

Don’t brag about yourself, it’s no point. You want to show me or others how awesome you are, a tweet or a facebook update sure as hell won’t do it. Lay me the facts and the things and ohh yeah tons of referrals whose words I would believe in.

It’s been pretty frustrating seeing everyone tooting their own horn and bragging what they can do. Stop it. Just forget being on top for a minute and stay under the radar. Filter your contacts and use the ones that will prove to be valuable and trust me, you will see much more of the day light instead of the bright computer screen. Now go out grab a beer, wine or whatever it is that you drink and relax. Your updates, tweets, diggs, votes, thumbs up can all wait until later. Plan your future. Lay off the “web celeb” juice and think how you can fill your back account by using these platforms not your ego. If you are 14 year old, this post wasn’t meant for you cause no matter how much we tell you, you guys think your shit don’t stink. But that’s ok cause you are only 14.

note : I don’t proofread once I am done writing, not on this blog. This is my home and I write what’s on my mind. Think of it as sleeping on the couch with my shoes on cause I can . If you find typos , please grab some rock and throw them at me.

image

Anyways, the new Facebook design haters are strong and are an active bunch. As of this writing ranting the group has 759,000 plus members all against it. I for one love it and hopefully, hopefully Facebook won’t surrender itself to a whiny bunch who never seem to understand that ultimately a business has to do what it takes for it to become profitable. Take a look at the image below and click on it to visit and see a bunch of haters.

By the way, you can add me on Facebook if you would like to grow your network by one more person.

What makes you influential on social media? Did you say “Trust?” Ahh, you must be living in the early phases of web 2.0. We are moving forward now. Social Media participation and engagement has nothing to do with “trust” anymore. It’s about who can brag more. That’s what makes you influential cause that’s who dominates media today. Anyways, to all you bragging bastards out there, this post is something I have been able to give birth because of you. Thank you for making me experience the “labor pain” cause I can certainly relate to the pain women go through now. If you are one of them, do not take this personally….I still love you but hate who you are turning into.

When it comes to change, I am pretty quick to adapt myself. But lately I have been having problem adapting. I am having problem adapting to something that pays my bills, something that I enjoy and something that I truly believe is the best form of marketing yet. Yes, you guessed it right! I am talking about Social media. You see, I have never gone out looking for work, all my work has been handed to me through referrals. I am extremely lucky cause I have never had to scour job boards, wonder what I will be doing next. This is what I love to do and this is what I have been doing for years under the radar. Why? Cause I love what I do and as far as work and paying the bills goes, I’ve never had a problem, thanks to my friends and clients who refer clients to me day in and day out (Thanks guys! you know who you are. I appreciate it).

But it seems like I have been playing the wrong ball game. I am actually connecting to people and networking the old way. They sure seem to work wonders (at least for me). Ask anyone on any social media platforms and anyone who knows me, I am a pretty nice guy. However, social media is changing so fast and the way we interact has taken such a different course, I might have to quit playing ball the old way. The new way of influence, power and networking is now defined by ego. If you can be a pompous bastard, sure as hell you are gonna lead the way. An increasing trend I noticed and thought I would share.

Now that I have started a war against “the core social media user today,” I might as well go all out. Let’s take Twitter for example. Awesome platform. We love twitter as much as we do because it gives us instant gratification. We ask a question, within minutes we get answers. Someone says “I took a shit,” and there will be someone who won’t mind asking “How big was the turd?” We love it. It’s instant. But it’s not the conversation or networking that is fascinating anymore. It’s the numbers. It’s all about what you have got to give to your followers and friends as far as “bragging” goes. “Holy Shit! I am no.1 on some twitter grader!” and there comes a flow of tweet “congrats.” You know what? No one gives a rat’s ass about it.

The changing social media landscape is starting to get scary. You know what the scariest thing of it all is – we are increasingly losing trust among each other.

So I have been wondering if I should change my game or keep hitting the balls the way I’ve been. Hell, I am 27 year old and I would like to join the “core group” or the “hip group.” But then again, I have been batting the old way for years and it still freaking works like a charm. All I do is talk, be nice (a gift given to me by mother nature) and simply interact. I never boast, brag and make myself sound like an egotistical bastard on these platforms. The question is – Do I let myself simmer in the social media that was built on trust, or do I wrap myself around ego and grill the hell out of it? You know my answer.

What’s yours? Would you like to be the “core group that dominates social media” today?

note : I wrote this post out of pure frustration after watching a few updates on facebook and a couple tweets on Twitter. If it doesn’t flow like an article should and sounds like someone just ranted like crazy, guess what? That’s exactly what it is. But the good thing is, if you haven’t noticed this “new trend,” you will now.

When it comes to social media, some make it way too confusing. Big words, long phrases and all the glamorous words makes it sound so much more than what it is. Well, I personally think there are many factors but there are these eight letters that set the ground work for anyone to excel in social media. Trust me, this is all it takes (of course you will have to refine it a little to suit your purpose)

Like all other blogs I have an awesome engagement tool here on this blog as well – comments. Let’s interact.

Now that Twitter has rolled out the much anticipated redesign, it’s time to talk. Before I even begin, I want to make sure that you understand (I am looking at you loyal, hardcore users and myself) that this is my personal opinion. For a moment I thought maybe I shouldn’t talk but what the heck, my opinion, my blog and whether anyone reads it or not, likes it or not I am going to drop it. So here I go.

Twitter’s new redesign certainly looks trendy and nice as compared to the 90s design it used to have. However, the main focus of the design has shifted from networking to searching. I use twitter for search, sure I do. But networking still beats my usage of twitter as a search engine. The new homepage kind of gives the feel like Twitter is a search engine rather than a social media, networking tool. Remember, although you and me know what twitter is all about, there are millions who have heard of it but have no clue what it’s about. When someone hears about it on CNN (they just can’t stop talking about it. When you watch Larry King Live watch for messages at the bottom of the screen such as “Follow @kingsthings, larry is the king of Twitter,” etc.) and decides to finally see what the hype is all about, their first impression of the site is going to be that it’s a search engine. And guess what? They use google for search.

My main point is, I agree that the redesign should focus on search capability and the need for real time information, however, that’s not the core model of Twitter. The core model of twitter is networking and that is nowhere to be seen on the new design. Think of it this way, everyone pretty much uses google to search the web but not everyone has an account with google. They use google as a search engine, that’s it. Google is fine with that because search is their core. If twitter wants search to be their core and not networking then this change is indeed effective but the whole being “pulse of the planet” and being the first one to land a billion users isn’t something that this new design is going to support.

If I were a new user and came to twitter to see what all the hoopla is about (there are many, many people who have no clue what it is although they have heard of it. Twitter needs those “many” people to hit the billion mark), I would simply think it was another search engine. I would certainly use it because it gives real time information and what not, but may be I will never sign up, why? Simply cause it may already fulfill my need which is search. Of course, search. twitter.com was there before but that is not what media talks about most of the time. That is not where people go. People go to Twitter.com not search.twitter.com and this redesign may pose a problem there. It might be seen as a search engine and now people like David Letterman who says Twitter is a waste of time, may think it’s useful as a search engine but it will be hard to change their perception in regards to it as a networking and social media platform. Maybe we’ll see a Twitter Redesign 101 soon.

I am ready. I have my helmet on. Start throwing rocks at me but I’ll stand to everything I said.

note : be sure to log out to see the changes if you are already using twitter.

I am sure many of you are already aware of the fact that social media marketing can rake in free marketing through traditional media such as newspapers. However, it seems like most ignore the fact and the power of traditional media altogether. We all need to understand that marketing isn’t about selling products or services alone, it’s being able to capture that attention. Guess what? Traditional media such as newspapers, TV, radio, etc. has attention. True, social media is huge but why not ride on that wave and take it one level further and hit a home run by getting the most bang for your buck, that is if you have to spend a buck at all.

You see media isn’t limited to newspapers, TVs, radios, anchors, journalists, etc. anymore. We all have the power to use media today. The fact that social networks and social media are on the rise and new and innovative services lure us to make them a part of our daily lives, we are the media. We control what stays within the circle and what flows out of the circle to the masses. These services allow us to be heard, they are free and give us the opportunity to market ourselves quite easily without ever spending a dime. These platforms can be a stepping stool to reach the traditional media and reach to an even bigger crowd. What would you prefer – Buying a flip side ad on a frontpage of a popular magazine for $20,000 dollar or creating a strategy that works on the web for free and goes viral? Of course, you are going to opt in for the free stuff. The first thing this does is saves your marketing dollar which you can utilize to make your product/service better or develop something that accentuates the value of what you are providing to your end consumers.

I ended up a contract with one of my clients this year in January and one of the highlights was being mentioned on BBC. It was just a blog and the client’s sole goal was to earn revenue through banner ads (should shoot for more than banner ads) but that’s what he wanted. So all in all, the key here was to get the buzz going and get those stats peak. And boy did we get traffic? Within two months this new blog was over 400,000 uniques a month but that wasn’t enough. I wanted it on a major publication so we could reach out to the people that don’t really get their information from social media platforms. The site got mentioned on BBC! It was huge. That was the start of type in direct traffic and not to mention the best kind of traffic we wanted. It was featured on the web, on TV and publication and here we were trying to figure out where this sudden influx of type in traffic was coming from. The site now doesn’t generate much. My contract ended and I don’t work for the client anymore but the site could have been much more if there was more than just content and banner ads in mind. (I can’t mention the name of the site but will gladly direct you to my client if you want to verify ).

The point is we would have never been able to advertise on BBC, first there wasn’t enough money and second we were new and at the time nobody would have really even cared to look at us. How did we do it? Well our initial platforms were social networking sites and bookmarking sites. We created the buzz, we made content that rocked, we broke news before anyone else did, we stayed on track and kept an eye on long term goal rather than short term hype and there it was.

I wanted to make this a quick post but I love to talk (write in this case) so it ended up being longer than I planned. But do keep in mind that traditional media can’t be ignored. They’ve got the audience that pay attention. You build your community, engage with your clients and customers on social platforms on the web and leverage that. When you are trusted online and your stuff goes out into through traditional media, the trust factor that you have among your web peers will talk for you creating an even more robust effect. After all traditional media has the attention of us all.

Don’t just focus on getting traffic from the web and social media platforms, go beyond that. Shoot for the stars and you will see traffic, brand awareness or whatever it is that you are seeking closer, easier and much cheaper than you thought.

Although traditional media follows a “one to many model” remember that the audience of the traditional media will help spread the word. Once again, either through social media platforms or word of mouth.

Have your say.

image

Whether you are a marketer, a blogger or an individual simply trying to socialize on the web, the key to effective engagement and participation is only possible if you choose and execute.

During my early years I was guilty of it myself. I felt like I needed to have a presence on every social networking site and media platforms out there. Couple years later, my accounts are still there but they have been abandoned. I probably have an account on 75% of sites that allow some form of user participation and I don’t use them. I have an account but no updates. No participation. No engagment. No value. And without value your profile is a sinking ship that has almost no hopes of recovery.

Social media isn’t about being everywhere. It is about being where you can truly “be.” I have learned from my mistake and unless a service proves beneficial to me or my clients in some sort, I don’t have a reason to create an account. As most of you already know, most platforms are free but we end up paying in time. The amount of time we put in to participate, to interact and to add value. And we need to keep in mind that time is money. Therefore, these platforms aren’t really free. They take a substantial amount of time from our day to day life. Managing 50 accounts is simply impossible and to put it rudely, dumb.

Before you create an account make sure to analyze the platform, core group, discussions and activities that surrounds that particular platform. For example digg is one of the popular platforms. Everyone wants a front page on digg. However, if you are managing a site that deals with marketing or Search Engine Optimization, Digg isn’t really the platform you want to spend most of your time on. Your best bet here would be to choose Sphinn which caters more to SEO folks and marketing.

The key to effectively using any platform is how it can benefit you. I am a heavy twitter user cause I see how it can benefit me and my business. I use Facebook as well but not as actively. Unless I have a campaign to run for a client, I don’t really have a reason to set apart time to utilize that platform. I make sure I exist. I make sure I add value and interact with my friends there but it certainly doesn’t take a chunk of my time. Why don’t I use Facebook as actively? Cause to me the amount of time I put in on Facebook doesn’t really convert much. In simplest term, I choose not use Facebook as actively because there is not as high of a return, for me.

The main point I want to stress is do not become followers. Just cause someone is using twitter doesn’t mean you have to. Just cause someone is using LinkedIn doesn’t mean you have to. And just cause someone isn’t using Sphinn or some forum doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. It all comes down to what your goal is. There are hundreds of platforms out there and there is only one you. Analyze a platform before you plan on using it. See what you can get out of it and how it might benefit you personally or as a business. Once you have chosen make sure you execute. Execution is as important as your choice because without executing engagement and value there is no way you can gain recognition or create brand awareness. You might be able to create a hype that will have a short life but for long term reputation and recognition, there is only one way to succeed and it’s execution.

Choose and execute.

Those were my views and how I decide on where to spend my time on the web. Would love to hear your take on it.

image

We hear this every single day. If you want to utilize social media and become an integral part of the community there is only one mantra to follow : give, give, give. I am not against the idea of “giving” cause that is what social media is based on to some extent. However, giving without moderation and consideration can hurt your personal brand. Think about it for a minute. How often do you give? What are you giving? How might this “giving” hurt your personal brand?

Before I go sharing my “personal opinion” I would like you to know that I am not saying you should never give. You should. After all, this is what separates social media from traditional media. In social media space you are able to give advice, feedback, disagreement, etc. But giving doesn’t include just that. Giving includes helping others out through retweeting people’s stuff on twitter, sharing links on Facebook, promoting digg submissions etc. I’ve seen so many people “giving” others so much that it is hard to find their own voice. If you are constantly giving and trying to help someone out, how do you build your own brand?

We need to hear your voice too. We need to hear what you have to say and have to offer. We are interested in you more than your friends.

Just something that hit me and thought I would ask your opinion. Do you think social media is all about “giving?” Personally, I don’t think so. It’s about giving but in moderation. If you are going to use a platform and be the giver the entire time, all you end up doing is build someone else’s brand and your personal brand suffers, in some cases it becomes almost non existent. Even Santa waits till Christmas to give and he still manages to pull off quite a following and fanbase in the society , think about it.

Would love to hear your take on it.

image credit

Something has been bothering me quite a bit lately so I thought I would talk a bit about it. It would be safe to say that almost everyone reading this blog has a Twitter and Facebook account. Some are more active on Twitter and some on Facebook. When it comes to social networking platforms, Twitter and Facebook beats pretty much every other platform (besides LinkedIn when it comes to professional networking) that are out there. I am a pretty heavy user on Twitter. I enjoy the service and use it both as a work and leisure medium to network and interact with fellow users. I use Facebook as well but not as aggressively as I use Twitter.

Lately I have been seeing an increasing trend among Facebook users. The trend isn’t really something that I would say is unacceptable but it can be when the true meaning of networking itself is jeopardized. The trend that I am talking about is importing twitter updates to Facebook. Personally, I am not against it but I don’t see a reason to have every single one of your tweets being shown on Facebook. Usually when you are importing your tweets to Facebook anything that isn’t a reply (@username) is shown as a Facebook update, including retweets. This to some of your facebook friends might be confusing. Twitter is huge but it certainly doesn’t mean everyone in your circle is using it, or using it as heavily as you do. Your choice of networking platform might be Twitter, their’s Facebook. Then again it’s your choice. It’s your account….who cares? Well, the network of people you are trying to connect on Facebook might.

The reason why I see importing every tweet to Facebook as a problem is because many people don’t even choose to see if anyone is actually responding to those tweets on Facebook. Although they are tweets on twitter when you import it to Facebook, it becomes a Facebook update. Your friends on Facebook might be commenting on it, they might ask you questions related to the update and never get an answer. Why? Because many people fail to go back to Facebook and see what’s going in that part of the world. This to me signals a huge problem. You are using two platforms simultaneously and ignoring one group of your friends and constantly connecting with the other. That to me isn’t effective networking. It is embracing one group and alienating the other.

I personally am against importing all your tweets to Facebook. I import my tweets as well but I use the application that allows you to send only tweets that you select to Facebook. I am in favor of importing select tweets rather than importing every single one of them is because it helps me become an active participant on both. Rather than embracing one and alienating another. I update twitter multiple times each day but not so much Facebook. When I select a tweet that I want imported to Facebook, it’s much easier to track who is saying what, not just on twitter but on Facebook as well. I will be tweeting this post with a hashtag #fb which will import the tweet to my Facebook. This way my update on Facebook remains fresh and it is much easier for me to see what others have to say both on twitter and Facebook regarding my views on this subject if they choose to.

That’s what’s been bugging me lately. What you choose to do is your choice but I would definitely suggest using the select tweet app to import your tweets to Facebook. It will help you manage both platforms and be a part of both networks in a much more effective and manageable way.

Feel free to add me on either Twitter, Facebook or both.